Workme

for the next two weeks, i will have three days off and they will not be consecutive. that rules. it also rules that it is one hot mother for a fat mountain man like myself...any time it gets to be more than 85 degrees and it is always humid here, i suddenly turn into an unmotivated grumpy bastard. it seems it is about time for me to find a new job--one that actually allows me to sleep at night! i just pray old george w. bush keeps working for me...not our president, my window air conditioner. it's ugly, loud and doesn't work very well.

man walks into a bar in washington and sees donald rumsfeld and colin powell sitting in the corner. he looks to the bartender and says ,"is that who..." the bartender immediately replies, "yep, it's them."
the man is excited seeing he has always wanted to meet these two men. he asks the bartender what he thinks about meeting them and the bartender tells him, "sure, go over and talk to them, they both love to hear what the public thinks about what they are doing."
so the man walks over and introduces himself and asks the general and the secretary what the two of them are are talking about. the general replies, "the war in iraq."
"what are you planning to do?" asks the man in ernest.
"we are planning to nuke the entire country...we want a parking lot where iraq used to be...we want to kill twenty five million iraqi people and one blonde woman with huge breasts!" shouted the general.
"oh my god," replies the man, "that is terrible...but why the one blonde woman with huge breasts?"
the general looks pleased with himself and says to the secretary, "you see, don, i told you no one gives a fuck about iraq!"

-winner of the coveted "most tasteless joke of the evening" award in the bar for saturday night